I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
