I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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