my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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