if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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