Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
