One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
