I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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