I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
