I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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