i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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