I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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