he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
