so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So I just went to clothing optional bar
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
