The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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