i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
