New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
two words...techno handjob
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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