Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
