Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
