At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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