WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize