well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
