Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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