i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
