every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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