Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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