I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize