the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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