WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He passed out mid-signature
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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