Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This is the high leading the old right now
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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