I am puke
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
