peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
