Dual....:-)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
