Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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