I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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