3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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