I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you would pick up someone in the library
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
