The maid of honor just puked.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
