It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
