I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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