Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize