turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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