I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize