This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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