Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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