any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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