Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
