you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit