My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.