he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman