unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
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In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup