So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize