Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
