OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
