i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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