I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I did not marry a roomba.
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