i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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