I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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