your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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