The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
