I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize